Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Decisions, Decisions...

As a lot of people know, Zoe has been eating her morning cereal made with Neocate, a hypoallergenic formula that is broken down to the amino acids (building blocks of protein, if you didn't know). This is the smallest part a protein that the formula can be broken down, the most specialized form of formula. You can't even get it in the store...so needless to say, what we are about to announce is something that has taken a lot of time and energy for us to think about.

We've decided to wean Zoe from breastmilk to the Neocate. This was not an easy decision to make. I was having a hard time pumping to just keep up with Zoe. So, we kept trying to get her to take the formula in a bottle (not a simple feat because it's just not the same as what she's used to). Then, a couple of weeks ago, she just took it. Maybe Zoe just got used to it, or maybe she was hungry enough to take it. Regardless, she finally started taking it in a bottle, not just in her cereal. Trust me when I say how difficult this was to GET her to take it (at first we wanted her to be able to take it just in case I wouldn't be able to keep up with her). We flavored it different ways, had Noah try to give it to her, have me try to give it to her, had her daycare provider, Laura, try to give it to her. We tried different bottles, sippy cups, and even on a spoon, with and without a little cereal. She just WOULDN'T take it for the longest time.

Needless to say, taking the Neocate has made our life a little easier. It eased the stress I was feeling about not being able to keep up with Zoe (I'd been able to pump enough for one bottle for Zoe in one session at work, and while I was there, she'd take 2 bottles....do the math!). As she took to it more, we came to the decision that to ease my stress at work from not having enough time to do my work and to pump, not being able to get enough for Zoe, all of it. So, we started transitioning Zoe so that she takes 2 bottles of formula while at day care, and then I nurse still morning and night.

Instead of it alleviating my stress, it actually got more stressful. I won't go into details about how, but I was having a difficult time with it. So, after doing this for a couple of weeks, we, I, came to the decision to completely wean Zoe to the formula. Know the saying, "if momma ain't happy..." well, this is a sad decision to make, a difficult one, but I kept stressing about the half and half situation we had...this takes the guess work out of it. I was constantly guessing about the foods I couldn't eat, and if what I was eating was okay for Zoe, and it killed me whenever we'd go back to the doctor's office and wonder if there is blood in her stool or not.

We've also been told, because this is such a specialized formula, it can help her stomach heal so tha it can eventually take those proteins eventually (dairy, soy, and possibly egg). So, that's made this decision a lot easier to handle. And, with everything I've read about the formula, it can help reduce the spit up too. So, let's hope that it does what it is supposed to.

Unfortunately, there are not any over the counter alternatives. There is one other amino acid based formula, but that's it.

Fortunately, we have been able to get a few free cans from some generous people. I was pointed to a website where you fill out a short survey, and then they send you a free can of Neocate. They've filled out the survey and have sent us the can. It's definitely made this easier. Zoe is going to be on Neocate at LEAST until she's a year, and probably longer. And, if it's not Neocate, then there are toddler versions, if she's not on milk, at that point. (if anyone is interested in the survey to help out, go to www.testforallergy.com. It's easy and you won't get stuck getting 202384 emails after!)

This has not been an easy decision for me, but to have a happy baby, you must have a happy mommy. Stressing out is not going to make a happy mommy. So, this past week, we've dropped the night feeding, and this weekend, we'll be dropping the morning feeding so that she's on Neocate 100% of the time. It makes me sad to know that I won't be nursing Zoe for the year that I had planned, and I also think that if we hadn't had the health issues develop and having get rid of the milk stash I did have, I'd be feeling much differently, and we probably wouldn't be weaning at this stage.

While this is a difficult decision and does not come without some "what ifs" and sadness, I have a lot of solace in the things that the neocate can do for Z. I really hope it lowers the amount of spit up even more and help her stomach heal faster. Never did I think we'd be here at this point, but then again, we never thought we'd be dealing with an allergy, either!

5 comments:

dianeburt said...

Amy do not ever doubt yourself, you are a wonderful mother, have given your best to our miss zoe...you should be very proud of yourself! Just one look at that little girl only proves what a wonderful job you have done! I congratulate you !

Chelsea said...

You have done so well. I know so many people who would have stopped nursing as soon as they found out about the allergy because it would have been too much to do the diet. You have to do what's best for all of you and it sounds like you've made a good choice. I am going to go fill out that survey right now:) See you next week!

Chelsea said...

Okay I couldn't find the survey. Sorry I will keep my eye out for free samples or coupons. The formula site had a 10% discount thing posted. Good luck.

marathonmommy said...

Nicely written. I know you really struggled and I pray that you are at peace with this now. Looking back, I don't think it will seem nearly as earth shattering as it does right now. I'm sure she'll cause you more sleepless nights sometime in the future over worse! You are an awesome mom...she's lucky to have you. Now go eat some awesome Thanksgiving food for me, would ya?

BC said...

Amy...never doubt what you are doing. We've known since you werea little girl yourself that you would be a great mom, and you've proved us right from day one.