Decisions, Decisions...

As a lot of people know, Zoe has been eating her morning cereal made with Neocate, a hypoallergenic formula that is broken down to the amino acids (building blocks of protein, if you didn't know). This is the smallest part a protein that the formula can be broken down, the most specialized form of formula. You can't even get it in the store...so needless to say, what we are about to announce is something that has taken a lot of time and energy for us to think about.

We've decided to wean Zoe from breastmilk to the Neocate. This was not an easy decision to make. I was having a hard time pumping to just keep up with Zoe. So, we kept trying to get her to take the formula in a bottle (not a simple feat because it's just not the same as what she's used to). Then, a couple of weeks ago, she just took it. Maybe Zoe just got used to it, or maybe she was hungry enough to take it. Regardless, she finally started taking it in a bottle, not just in her cereal. Trust me when I say how difficult this was to GET her to take it (at first we wanted her to be able to take it just in case I wouldn't be able to keep up with her). We flavored it different ways, had Noah try to give it to her, have me try to give it to her, had her daycare provider, Laura, try to give it to her. We tried different bottles, sippy cups, and even on a spoon, with and without a little cereal. She just WOULDN'T take it for the longest time.

Needless to say, taking the Neocate has made our life a little easier. It eased the stress I was feeling about not being able to keep up with Zoe (I'd been able to pump enough for one bottle for Zoe in one session at work, and while I was there, she'd take 2 bottles....do the math!). As she took to it more, we came to the decision that to ease my stress at work from not having enough time to do my work and to pump, not being able to get enough for Zoe, all of it. So, we started transitioning Zoe so that she takes 2 bottles of formula while at day care, and then I nurse still morning and night.

Instead of it alleviating my stress, it actually got more stressful. I won't go into details about how, but I was having a difficult time with it. So, after doing this for a couple of weeks, we, I, came to the decision to completely wean Zoe to the formula. Know the saying, "if momma ain't happy..." well, this is a sad decision to make, a difficult one, but I kept stressing about the half and half situation we had...this takes the guess work out of it. I was constantly guessing about the foods I couldn't eat, and if what I was eating was okay for Zoe, and it killed me whenever we'd go back to the doctor's office and wonder if there is blood in her stool or not.

We've also been told, because this is such a specialized formula, it can help her stomach heal so tha it can eventually take those proteins eventually (dairy, soy, and possibly egg). So, that's made this decision a lot easier to handle. And, with everything I've read about the formula, it can help reduce the spit up too. So, let's hope that it does what it is supposed to.

Unfortunately, there are not any over the counter alternatives. There is one other amino acid based formula, but that's it.

Fortunately, we have been able to get a few free cans from some generous people. I was pointed to a website where you fill out a short survey, and then they send you a free can of Neocate. They've filled out the survey and have sent us the can. It's definitely made this easier. Zoe is going to be on Neocate at LEAST until she's a year, and probably longer. And, if it's not Neocate, then there are toddler versions, if she's not on milk, at that point. (if anyone is interested in the survey to help out, go to www.testforallergy.com. It's easy and you won't get stuck getting 202384 emails after!)

This has not been an easy decision for me, but to have a happy baby, you must have a happy mommy. Stressing out is not going to make a happy mommy. So, this past week, we've dropped the night feeding, and this weekend, we'll be dropping the morning feeding so that she's on Neocate 100% of the time. It makes me sad to know that I won't be nursing Zoe for the year that I had planned, and I also think that if we hadn't had the health issues develop and having get rid of the milk stash I did have, I'd be feeling much differently, and we probably wouldn't be weaning at this stage.

While this is a difficult decision and does not come without some "what ifs" and sadness, I have a lot of solace in the things that the neocate can do for Z. I really hope it lowers the amount of spit up even more and help her stomach heal faster. Never did I think we'd be here at this point, but then again, we never thought we'd be dealing with an allergy, either!

Daylight Savings Time..

...has not been good for Z. Poor thing doesn't know what's up or down at this point. Her naps are all out of whack, she's been tired, a bit fussy (can you even believe it??), and getting up at 4am....

We're doing our best to help her get adjusted to this one hour change. Who would have thought ONE hour would be such a big deal?!?!

New Firsts!

Today, Z had a couple of firsts--

First time in her "big-girl" bath tub....a blow up tub shaped like a duck that fits inside our regular sized tub. She wasn't so happy about the change, but when she realized that it still means she can splash in the water, she was ALL for it! We'll get pictures the next time she's in it!

First time eating chicken....the other night, I made chicken in the crock pot with some apples and a little apple juice. It was REALLY good, so I pureed the extra breast I had cooked up, and Z gobbled it up and wanted more!! I'll up her chicken amount when we know it doesn't bother her!

Not Eggs-actly what we wanted to hear...

Yeah, yeah, corny joke...I know. I'm trying here!

I talked to Dr. S, the GI specialist who's seeing Zoe. The bloodwork came back, and while they aren't BAD, they aren't great. It turns out she is slightly anemic. A normal number is 33 (what I don't what the numbers mean) and she's 32.5. Does that mean we are going to be freaking out here? No, but that doesn't mean we can just take a wait and see approach. From what I've been able to gather, reading sources online and talking to the dr/nurse at the pediatrician's office....if you don't treat it, it could become something serious, so we are. The normal course of action is 3 months of iron, with a hemogram check in a month. This is a test to check her iron levels in her blood. We also need to see the GI dr in one month instead of 2. THis is because the dr wants me to go off of eggs as well. So, I'm off of eggs until further notice, we go back in a month, and hopefully no more blood in the stool.

We really hope this takes care of things...the blood in the stool, the slight anemia, the spit up even. Keep your fingers crossed!

The count down is ON! :(

Unfortunately, we have had to start to worry about what'll happen in a couple of short weeks. We have a very, very nice woman, Miss Laura, who will be taking very good care of Z. I think this is going to be harder on Noah and me than it will be on Z! Tomorrow, we have a trial run, and will have more before school starts for me. Miss Laura is a very nice woman, who has 3 boys of her own, 16, 12, and 7, I think. She lives very close to us, and is very careful not to have too many kids, since she works out of her home and has strict rules to follow. She's opened her home and business to us, and we're very happy to have her. Z will be the youngest kiddo there, by about a year, but that's okay. :) I'm sure she'll get plenty of attention. Noah will do drop off; I'll pick up. While it's sad to know we have to do this, it'll be good for all around. Z will meet friends, spend time with people other than her Mommy and Daddy (it IS good, right?), and I get to go back to work, which is something I need to do. I would LOVE to spend the time home with Z, but it's just not practical for us.

We'll be back with an update from her "first day".

Update from the Drs

We went to the pediatric GI dr today in Boston to see what was going on with Z's slowed weight gain and slightly elevated liver enzymes. He did a full evaluation, interviewed us about our health background, including allergies, GI issues in the family, etc. This dr has come to the conclusion that Z may have an allergy dairy and soy products. This means for ME no dairy and soy products or anything that contains those products until we figure out what is causing this in our beautiful Z...

So bear with me--no chocolate, no cheese, most breads are out, deli meat, bagels and cream cheese in the morning, milk/cream/non-dairy creamer in my coffee in the morning (I'm giving a shot at rice milk)....there are lots more, but I have to just read labels. It also means going out to eat is going to be more difficult. The dr basically told me "if you can't read the label, don't eat it".

This is all for Z...she's worth the little sacrifice now to be healthy later. :) In time, if this is what it is, she should outgrow it and be just as happy and healthy as we know she is right now!

***editted 8/10/08*** I just realized I didn't put the best news in from this visit! Z had gained 12 oz from the previous week at the pediatricians!!

Our World Traveler!

Zoe before the trip...she had plenty of toys to keep her busy!
Checking the water out in the pool....Seems to be just like her bathtub, only bigger! :)
Zoe with her Great-Grandma B and Cousin A. What a set of beauties!

I know, I don't have pictures. I left the camera at the hospital visiting Cousin Jacob...I have to wait until Grandma C brings it when she baby-sits Z Friday. However, Z has turned into quite the traveller the last few days. After a trip to visit Cousin Jacob, we were off to Grandma and Grandpa B's so that we ALL could drive down to Viriginia to visit with Grandpa B's side of the family for a good old fashioned family reunion. It was great to see everyone and for Z to meet everyone for the first time! Of course, everyone thought that Z was quite the beautiful babe (as IF anyone would think anything different!!).

Z's experienced quite a bit in this long weekend! She went on her first VERY long car ride. It took us from Massachusetts, through Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, and then into Virginia. She got to stay at the Presidential Suite of the hotel because we got our rooms bumped (we got there a little late and the hotel was overbooked). THAT was quite the treat! Z went swimming in the heated outdoor pool at the hotel, and LOVED it!! She got a taste of Daddy's Gelato (cookies and cream, if you were wondering, and yes, she liked it!). Z went to the National Zoo and saw all kinds of animals (some of them were even in cages and had homes in the Zoo!). She was a trooper the whole time. She's still fighting with teething, as those two top ones just WON'T come through. Z napped as well as can be expected and was a charmer to anyone who'd look at her, never mind those who actually TALKED to her and PLAYED with her.

Zoe got to spend some quality time with her big Cousin A and Auntie B. I think a good time was had by all!!

We had Z's weight check today...it wasn't the news we were expecting. Our skinny minnie is just that. She is now exactly 12lbs. No more, no less. She grew a quarter of an inch longer and only a few ounces in the last few weeks. While it's a little early for her to level off in her weight gain, the doctor thinks she might have, but was still concerned. Her growth curve is continuing to decline and he wants to figure out what is up. He thinks she is a "pokey gainer", but still ordered a bunch of lab work. Z was a trooper getting blood drawn. She had the attention of THREE lab techs--one to draw, one to hold her arm down and distract her, and another one helped distract her. I got to hold her, and console her after, and she quickly stopped crying after they got what they needed. The doctor called me a few hours later, and while he still doesn't seem concerned, he did notice her liver enzymes are slightly elevated. So, to be sure that it's nothing, he's sending us to see a specialist. Noah and I appreciate this attentiveness and are SURE it's nothing, but it is still something we are concerned with, being Z's Mommy and Daddy. We want the best for our daughter.

We'll keep you posted!

What a Week!

There are a lot of new pictures to share, and lots of news to share. First the pictures!

Chillin' on a hot day, just before....

a full blown tantrum. This is what happens when Z's schedule is messed up, she doesn't get her regular naps, AND gets to bed late. We don't mess with bedtime now if we can help it.

This is a much calmer Z, chillin' in her Thing 1 onesie. I love that thing! The butt reads "Dr Seuss".

Waiting for Mommy and Daddy to finish getting ready to go out to see Auntie and Uncle J's new condo and their new dog. Poor Z was just not feeling well with those teeth coming in.

Earlier that day before we left....or was it later that day. That momnesia is kicking in!

Hanging with Mommy. Z's showing how well she can sit up! Can you see how she's trying to lean forward even more?? My big girl is growing up!

And just before going to K and E's house for a Memorial Day barbeque. What's so funny about the outfit is that the dress fits perfect. The panties underneath to cover up her diapers are SOOO big on her they were falling off most of the day!

So there's a brief update as to some of the things Z has been doing. This past week, I've noticed Z lengthening her naps...she even got a 2 1/2 hour nap in one day! What has happened to this child of mine??? She usually is a 45 minute napper...that's it. I'm thrilled with the longer naps. It allows me to get more things done around the house (including catching the blog up!).

Also, this week has been a little difficult for the family. We got a phone call from my mother that my grandmother, Z's great-grandmother, who I talked about in a previous post, had died that morning. She had been very sick, slowly just giving up on her life with Parkinson's. She had suffered dementia with this terrible disease, and she was not able to recognize anyone for a long time. While we're all sad that she's is gone, we know that she's in a better place. It made Noah and I even happier to give Zoe her name as Z's middle name. Especially after telling my grandmother's brothers and other family and friends about Zoe...I think that those who figured it out were very touched.

At the wake, we left Z with her Grandma B, who was more than thrilled to help us out. Sounds like they had a great time together! Thursday, Z came with us to the funeral, and we were VERY proud of our young lady and how well she behaved in the church and at the cemetery. I think she understood how important it was to be so good, and she did the best she could! It was better than we ever expected from a 3 1/2 month old. Everyone was impressed with our little Z, and she even got a pinch on the cheek from the priest who did the ceremony! My grandmother would have been proud. Zoe was a hit with all of the little old men and ladies!

My grandma loved to wear an angel pin every day, and we made sure she had one then. I truly believe that she will become an angel for our Z, helping her as she gets older. I also know that we are going to make sure she knows how special my grandmother was. Someday, when I'm feeling a little better about things, I'll have to write more about her, our life with her, and how much she meant to a lot of people. While the turnout for the funeral was small, I do think she brought a lot of joy to the people who were there. It was evident how loved my grandmother was, and it was very touching to see that. We'll miss her.

"From Pinky to Binky"

said her Daddy. Zoe had a difficult day...very fussy, did NOT sleep very much yesterday, and just had a tough day. I think she was just overstimulated from the weekend. Such is life. Daddy and Mommy broke down and gave her a binky...a paci..whatever you want to call it. Zoe didn't really know what to think of it at first, but did take to it, and has been sucking away with it. It has definitely helped her calm down, and when she's done with it, she spits it out. So now, Mommy and Daddy have their fingers back! :)

For anyone who cares, we introduced a MAM paci first, and we have ortho something or other ones that we're going to try after. Mommy doesn't think she'll have a problem with either, but you never know! :) Also, we're going to hold off on the bottles for another week or so. I'm sure she'll take those just as well!! Then Daddy can help feed her, and even get up with her on those 4am feedings!

BTW, there are many more pictures that Mommy will post later. Daddy has taken on the job of uploading the pictures, shrinking them to useable sizes, and flipping the horizontal ones into vertical when they need to be...oh and putting them on the house server (if that's the word??) so Mommy can use them. She could do it, but it takes so long, and it's easier for Daddy to do it! :) So, when he does that, we'll have more pictures to show how much she's changed in less than three weeks!!

Alas, it wasn't meant to be...

Zoe was supposed to come into the world today. We had scheduled a c-section for today, and Dr. Davidson came in to do an ultrasound to check her positioning. He wanted to make sure she still was breech...well, wouldn't you know, the little bugger had turned! She is now head down and it's a waiting game. We had the c-section cancelled, and we now have to wait until she's ready to come into the world.

As her parents, we were disappointed because we really wanted to meet our little daughter today. We wanted to meet her, hold her, and kiss her. But, we understand that this is for the best. We need to make sure she is healthy, and waiting for her to be ready to come out is the best way...the natural way.

I do have a drs appointment tomorrow because my BP was high. The dr wants to make sure that it wasn't high for any other reason other than the stress of the day. We'll see what happens! :)